by Derek

(Minneapolis, Minnesota)
I married a Russian girl here in the U.S. and she is becoming verbally abusive and I don’t know what to do. Is she playing me for a fool? We have only been married for 3 months and she has become very demanding and abusive verbally. Should I see a lawyer?

Tom’s Answer:

Wow, I’m sorry to hear this.

Let me state at the outset that this question is “above my pay grade”, and you really don’t include enough information for me to provide confident answers.

Has she received her temporary residence yet? Have you concluded that divorce is the only answer, or is there a chance of reconciliation? All this matters.

But to answer the simple lawyer question, you don’t need to see a lawyer unless/until you have decided on a divorce and she is unwilling to go the simple, painless route (uncontested). THEN you should talk to a lawyer.

But divorce lawyer prices typically start around $300/hour, so if you have almost no “marital assets” (property you have accumulated while married) and no common children, the price of lawyers will far outweigh any settlement on either side.

If you had to offer her a plane ticket home plus $3000 cash to just to sign a non-contested divorce and walk away, that would be well worth it. Just remember, if lawyers get involved there’s almost no way you get out for under $10K.

Of course if the marriage can be salvaged, that’s the best route. Would she visit a marriage counselor with you?

Anyway, if you want to fill in some of these blanks, just post your follow up as a comment to this post.

Please pretend your name is “Derek” and you are from “Minneapolis” — you left it blank, which is fine, so I gave you an alias.

Comments for Brought Russian girl back to states and got married. She is verbally abusive

LOUD

by: Anonymous

More details, how long have to know her? Was she always sweet and now she is abusive. How is she abusive? Have you tried and talk with her about why she is mad, if so what did she say?