by Mabk

(Winston Salem)
I’ve been gaining experience for over five months with this. I’ve been to Ukraine, and so on. I’ve noticed even men in the families of women seem to assume U.S. men have a ton of money.

Is it a common assumption in Ukraine that if you’re U.S. you have lots of money? Of course it’s case by case once you meet a woman, and get serious. But really. Is there a thing like this? Where most Ukrainian woman just think U.S. = $?

So this question is clear. She speaks English. Knows my budget in general. Of course not with specifics. Point is that she understands fully. What I can or cannot afford. But the request and pressure is building like she doesn’t get it.

This is the first red flag I’ve seen. So I found a way to monitor some of her online activity. Regretfully she’s also lying. Now two red flags. I’m ending this relationship but for the future I’d love to know?

Is there an assumption for Ukrainian women that all U.S. men are loaded, and we will dig in and get the bucks rolling for things? At this point I’d say I’m even on having spent some small amounts of money. I did so because I wished to, and I’ve been treated very well (super excellent) in fact.

I’m ending things based on the lies. But the money request are about to double the trouble also. Any information on this concept for the future?

Tom’s Answer:

Yes, it is very common for people in Ukraine to assume Americans (especially) and other foreigners have lots of money.

I struggled with this with my Ukrainian ex. She seemed to assume there was always more money than there really was no matter how clear I made things.

But there are really many sincere Ukrainian woman who don’t think about these things much at all. Of course they expect that you have the resources to provide for them. If they come to the U.S. on a fiancee visa they are allowed to work fairly soon after arrival, but there’s very little chance that they will get work where the income amounts to anything. So it’s 100% up to you to provide for a home, food, transportation, health insurance, etc.

But during the process of meeting and dating the costs should be your airfare, your accommodations, and the normal cost of courtship (dates, flowers, etc.). Sincere women who don’t harbor these silly assumptions about rich foreigners won’t expect more than that.

If you start noticing that a girl wants gifts, vacations, or asks for money for things, you should clarify right away. But I’m personally of the opinion that clarifying doesn’t really work very well if they already have a perception of how things are.

Of course if you start on the fiancee visa process it will be necessary for you to pay for costs related that process. For example, she would need to appear at a recognized medical clinic for an exam. There is a fee for that which you may need to pay. But you will be able to see online what that fee is.

But when you start getting money requests, that’s a problem.